Being a creative means doubt is never far from your mind. So much of what we do is done our own. Whether that’s painting or writing, sculpting or knitting, we’re doing it by ourselves. Drafting, writing, editing, world-building, it’s primarily a solo activity. There are collaborative times, forums, discussions, sometimes even co-authoring if that’s a journey you take. But for the most part, it’s you alone in front of a screen or notebook, pouring your mind onto the page.
That’s why it’s so easy for doubt to creep in; if you’re so often by yourself, you have only your own mind to rely on, and relying only on yourself means doubting the thing in front of you is so very easy. Creativity and doubt go hand in hand, it’s a very natural state to get yourself into, and not always an easy one to get out of.
When you create something, you see its imperfections. Whether that’s a first draft or the one that’s going to print, you’ll know its flaws. Sometimes, those flaws are all you can focus on. Even if it’s been through edits and critiques, and you knows it’s the strongest version of it you can make, nothing is truly flawless. When you’ve made something yourself, that can be a very difficult thing to ignore. If it’s come from your own hands and mind, there’s a vulnerability there, and that vulnerability lends itself to doubt so very easily.
So how do you work through that? How do you commit when you’re suddenly (or perhaps not so suddenly) unsure of the words on the page in front of you, of the story, of the concept as a whole? It can be an exceptionally difficult feeling to overcome, especially as you might be going through the process alone. Maybe you can talk to friends and family, maybe you can discuss it on a writing forum, but the ultimate decision and the ultimate difficulties you’re going through are your own. Other people might have suggestions, but it’s still something you have to build and work on yourself, and sometimes that means no amount of advice or discussion can help you truly deal with the seeds of doubt that have been sown in your mind.
As a creative person, particularly if you are in pursuit of/are in a creative career, resilience is crucial. It might not be a natural skill set in your in arsenal, it might be something you have to work really hard on, but it is absolutely something you must have. It will help in so many aspects of your creative journey, from rejection to perseverance. Having it in your back pocket when the inevitable doubt creeps in is often the only way to keep going, to pull out those darn weeds and move forward.
Resilience is not always the easiest thing to achieve. Some doubt is incredibly strong (and some critiques and other factors working against you can be even stronger). But resilience is the only way forward. Without it, you give up, and then those projects never get the endings they need and deserve, which is a tragic thing indeed.
Maybe it means taking a step back, observing what’s going on and where that doubt has come from. Maybe it means persevering, not letting that doubt overwhelm you and pressing on, telling that doubt to take a backseat where it belongs. It can vary from person to person, project to project. But when that doubt comes, it’s important to deal with it in some way, otherwise you might just give up and only ever see your projects with their flaws; the project and you yourself deserve so much more than that.
Now, that’s not to say doubt isn’t there for a reason. It’s an entirely unpleasant feeling, but sometimes it comes up because things do need work. Maybe you’re struggling with certain scenes, maybe a character is being too obstinate, maybe there are beats in the story coming at the wrong time. Doubt stems sometimes from those flaws. It may be the case that those flaws are being magnified and you just need to have more courage in what you’re doing. Other times, they’re going to be flaws that do need work. It can provide an opportunity to make the project stronger, and show that doubt that you are stronger too, because you heard what your doubt was saying, and you used it to your advantage, you didn’t let it beat you.
Unfortunately, sometimes doubt is there because the project isn’t what it’s meant to be. I have absolutely left projects in the past because that’s the right thing to do. But the crucial part is that I didn’t cede at the first sign of doubt. When it started creeping up, I listened to what it was saying, and I used it. Sometimes that meant pivoting the story a little, sometimes it meant looking at my career as a whole, what I wanted to say and what these projects were saying for me. Eventually, I had to make the decision that the projects, as they stood, weren’t ones I was going to push forward with. But I made that decision, I didn’t let doubt make it for me. Using doubt as a tool can be beneficial.
That doesn’t mean doubt isn’t a horrible feeling, whether it emerges for the right reasons or not. Because even if it is there to help you strengthen something, it can lead to much bigger feelings, wondering if the whole project isn’t working, if you need to shift your focus to something else, if you might even be chasing the wrong things entirely. Doubt can be such an awful and insidious feeling, because it isn’t just a doubt about the work in front of you, it’s a doubt about yourself and your abilities too.
I think there are a lot of creative people who get discouraged by their doubt and never push on, give up on things entirely. I wonder how many beautiful projects are left forgotten because someone was given this seed of doubt, and it grew too big to tear out. Some of the most amazing creators out there have expressed how unsure they are about the things they’re creating, and perhaps even expressing their final projects aren’t always exactly what they envisioned. Creating is truly such a vulnerable thing, and you’re not only vulnerable to those around you, you’re vulnerable to your own mind as well.
Dealing with doubt is twofold, I think; first, you have to be able to persevere, whether that’s ignoring those creeping feelings or working with that doubt to strengthen the projects in front of you; secondly, being proud of the work you create, especially when it’s shared with the rest of the world. You can see those flaws, you can acknowledge that the work isn’t perfect (because nothing ever is!), and accept criticisms too (because that’s how you get better), but you should be able to say that what you created is the strongest version of the project that you could create at that time, and you’re proud of that feat.
Doubt will always be there, and I don’t necessarily think it’s an unhealthy feeling because it’s means you’re always striving for more and that you haven’t gotten too comfortable with where you are. But doubt shouldn’t stop you. You should work with it, sometimes against it, but don’t let it push you to give up, because then the doubt wins. You deserve to triumph and create the things you obviously felt a want or even a need to create in the first place. The world deserves to see your creativity, and doubt shouldn’t hold enough power over you to make you give up. Be resilient, because that’s the only way to tell the world the things you want to say.
Robyn x
R. A. Howard 